Countdown to April and May... and All the Good People, Places and Things Coming Our Way! Let's Dream and Team Up Now!

Whose thinking of Spring these days? It's blustery and cold as though the middle of March not the tail of of a lion or rather the lamb we're looking for in CT. The world seems to know it's spring in nature with some crocus and buds starting to brighten the lawns.

Spending a day of remembering a newly-made friend from over the summer whose life came to a close due to a medical issue was a timely reminder that 'this life is fleeting' in ways... I saw kids I knew who are adults with two or three of their own, some grown even. So those gaps of caregiver or coach for kids closed a bit, yet the next generations are not far behind. Many of my friends are in their 60s, 70s and 80s...with one friend whose in her later 90s living more like one in her 60s!

At the gathering of about a hundred people in our small communities near the river, a couple dozen kids were playing about (just in the yard and near a parking lot which was something to keep reminding them and adults was key to keep kids out of since cars could pull in or not expect kids to be playing hide and seek among the cars!)

Meeting people from 'all over the world' who knew or were part of the family made the gathering more special in this time of turmoil and wonder what will be happening for many on the run from Ukraine.

Sad to be getting to know the wonderful family and friends as we were mourning their loved one, yet grateful to be in the circle as one who had gotten to know the family a bit over the summer and could help out a bit at this delicate time. No limit to the love shared for this family especially at this time from all there and in these small communities and their many circles.

I'd like to think our afternoon of sharing memories and delicious food, dancing and having a lively play with colorful costumes and clever storytelling with kids and a few adults and live music brightened the collective experience of how to face challenges and come out stronger.

A  young man shared a song about "Hope and Joy" not being that different, and staying strong because we know this person would want that... and to live fully was what most  were aiming to do a few months after her passing.

Her husband has a strong will to get things done that she had dreamed of...and keep watch over their lovely kids who I got to meet. Last summer I had asked if some friends might stay with them for an overnight (and if they'd be able to care for their child for a special event.) They were considering it and then the plan wasn't needed, but the wheels were set in motion to know we might meet up again.

Not easy to know how to really be there for one family but with a caring community and extensive network, that is something that people can pull together and find ways to piece together.

I have lived through a similar major shift in my family matrix with the passing of our teen son Kaelan almost 13 years ago. I thought recently of how many friends of mine had lost a child, whether very young or a bit older, usually due to an accident, or a drug-related situation or mental health issue.

I try to consider that in these modern times we are all 'getting a lot of living done' in a shorter amount of time, maybe meeting hundreds of people and making meaningful connections and having rather profound experiences.

More time and better health would be nice. But I know some who like this friend, had 'almost no warning' their life would end...and I do think we could benefit from 'taking more time to consider what that would mean for any of us..."

I am a trained End Of Life Doula and CNA (Certified Nurse's Assistant or PCA Personal Care Attendant) so have heard about the ten more common illnesses or conditions that factor into a modern day person's decline. 

Aging alone is not necessarily the main issue. Usually there can be a form of heart disease or cancer, diabetes or dementia (and sometimes circulation issues are linked to those maladies.)

I will wrap this up to get sleep tonight.

Another set of projects I encourage every community is learning to  care for someone as part of a team, planning, helping with short projects, housecleaning and fridge organization and the actual care!It's important to pace oneself.  It can be mentally taxing to have to do one thing after another for someone...little things which I'll list here sometime to help more people realize what it takes to be the arms and legs for another.)

 It's a bonus when people on the team and getting care are appreciative and engaged with their. Each person can be recognized as having one's own life and

have a great home and set of routines to make things run as smoothly as possible.

Anyone would do well to 'follow suit'. Any client may need teams of caregivers and even people to plan and help run the small household, plant gardens and do lawn work.

Shopping and keeping track of special foods and vitamins, medications (and especially any opioids need to be monitored closely lest one can be sued or accused, so that's a word of precaution.) Thsee are some other parts of the job, as well as communicating by text if someone can't  speak or to keep in touch about daily and hourly needs with ease. It's important to 'confirm' such texts to make sure people are on the same page.

Some people have an illness or decline in a condition (and care for need for skilled help) for years  and even decades or so. Talk about Patience and fortitude.

Any folks doing this kind of care deserve an Oscar, especially if they've been running a kind of play for all those days out of necessity to get the basics done and enjoy life, thank you very much!

Most people would be incredibly amazed and inspired that 'life can be a joy and wonder' even when the human body seems to be heading in a different direction.

I lovingly tell my clients along those lines that after all they've done being very skilled and athletic as a performer, a teacher for years or other line of adventure or service in war. Many get to exploring the realm of 'easy does it' and helping us all to see what life's about on the quieter side.

I know people who could very much use more help for a little care getting someone settled in at night, a rather late shift from midnight to 2am or so. Feel free to PM me on my public FB Catherine Palmer Paton page for more info if you'd like to spend time in the Northwest Corner of CT for a few months to do some nights (maybe two or three women sharing the week) and help with other tasks.

Some housing and pay may be available...and donations would be welcome as well. I can give you contact info about that. Best to all in the caregiving circles and helping others in general. 

I am in an exhibit described in an earlier post at the Hartford CT Capitol and we'll have a reception on the final day from 3 to 5pm. Hope to see many of the other participants and guests! You're welcome to attend and see what else springs up this year (even Before  BeYouToFull April and May Arrive! See an upcoming exhibit (and former ones online even) at The Salisbury Association on Main St in CT on Essential Workers!