Creating Waves of Love and Peace Remembering Basketball Legend Kobe Bryant, His Daughter Gianna, 13, and Seven Others 1/26/19

Where were you when you read or heard the news that Kobe Bryant's mortal life ended in a helicopter crash this Sunday morning, January 26, 2019? As part of getting ready to take a trip from Connecticut out West,  I was getting some help downloading photos from my SIM Card and had time to check the internet. I couldn't believe the title at first and thought maybe there was some kind of exaggeration or fake news, a headline to get attention.

But within moments I realized 'This is for real." Truth be told, I don't watch sports but knew he was famous...and an athlete, so had to read up. Seeing his photo I thought "Yes, he looks familiar..." Then seeing more footage of basketball and thankfully a piece on his interview saying he was fine with LeBron James passing his record and to be otherwise might be 'juvenile.'

Of course you want people to do better who come after you was what he shared. The timing now that I've had a few hours to mull it over and see some coverage on the television on NBC News and online reports when it was first reported as near Malibu and in his private S72 Sikorsky Helicopter going to a basketball practice with his daughter, her friend and a parent, and five others filled in some of the basic details.

Early on learning he had four children, one of whom was born last year and that his wife was not on board helped me tally up what his family and the world were going to have to face together...and make sense of best anyone can. Seeing the footage of crowds gathering to remember Kobe in Los Angeles was toucing. Grown men shedding tears and feeling the loss. This is 'one of thoes days to stop and give thanks for his legacy and that of all who crossed over' today and on another level previously, since the spiritual realm is 'just around the corner' in terms of the big picture.

Still we are very attached to our human experiences, relationships, roles and hopes. Many point out the timing of Saturday being the day when LeBron James made more points than Kobe Bryant had in his career, and in Philadelphia which was Kobe's hometown as having a kind of stage set for history. Little could we imagine that the passing of the torch a kind of high five gesture was going to be one coming on the heels of Kobe abd his daughter about to be heading to heaven.

As tough as it is to deal with this kind of reality, keeping the sense of their strong love for life and family as primary over the despair that they are no longer walking the earth in their human form can help their spirits adjust and transition in these next few days...and their families and friends and really the whole country adjust to this outplaying of events.

Thanks to all taking time to consider the bigger game of life that we are all part of, and the ways we can connect through shared positive experiences, and show support during times of challenge, loss and transition. Having friends or family 'turn away' during a time or situation is a far more common challenge than having to face a serious physical or mental health issue or the dire situation of someone dying unexpectedly (or even with a fair amount of warning...)

Many kinds of uphill journeys. To the extent we can intend lovingkindness towards ourselves and others, including forgiveness, apologies and next caring steps over time so we progress for our own personal best and our collective odds as well for healing and success on many levels. 

With many people understanding the power and insight of 'the one and the many' this challenging set of losses coming right after another helicopter loss of passengers who could not get out of safely due to a malfunction of the safety harnesses, leaving people to pass in the water, there's much to consider what the messages may mean for us all. Having a team of support, double checking safety systems for many types of vehicles as well as for systems where people are trying to get safe is a shared ongoing goal.

The loss of an autistic boy named Thomas, 8 years old, at the hands of his biological father and the woman he was living with and intending to marry was a nightmare our country woke up to Saturday, January 25th, 2019.

I would hope that young Thomas was a great spirit willing to teach us the need for much better supervision of youth along with parenting and caregiving standards the children would hear about (along with all parents and school personnel to insist on a better safety net without so many warnings being missed or unheeded as seems to be the case of Thomas.)

Apparently his mother had been pleading for interventions to no avail. That likely is more common than most of the public realizes even in abusive custody disputes where typically mothers are penalized for trying to protect their children and themselves. These kinds of difficult topics, playing out in the headlines as they have recently could spark more collective activism and willingness to learn 'what can be done to protect people who are inherently worth giving a chance and much support.

More grassroots advocacy, such as the kind Bon Jovi and his wife are doing to provide meals to college students in upbeat settings (letting them pay $12/meal or work in the kitchen) are inspiring and can spur other formats for people getting help, teaching one another and showing support for healing from difficult relationships and building bridges with secure groups and people to 'stay safe night and day in every way.'

That's a tall order for some but really understanding violence as a public health issue and getting more unbalanced or abusive people to hear that 'the systems and community are not condoning or endorsing abuse any longer' would help turn the tides to keep everyone safe across the board.

The bigger game involves everyone learning to have self-control and ways to connect in positive ways with others, even if through writing, online chats or on the phone if not in personal groups and supervised settings and in more personal unregulated situations and riding on public transportation and in cars as may be appropriate. Each arena of life could use some game rules and referees to help everyone play the game of life with decency, respect and good will.

The talent and healthy competition can then flourish. Those who have journeyed on and team players here on earth can then applaud the efforts and progress we make individually and collectively . Hopefully everyone would be able to sleep better at night and enjoy the gift of each day with a sense of fair play until it's their turn to pass the ball one final time. 

As I've shared on other posts our own teen son Kaelan Palmer Paton had an unexpected passing when trying to save a friend from drowning. He had rescued two others on June 16th, 2009 while still on the bank of the Housatonic River in CT by a large waterfall. Overall the turn of events moved many to consider the importance to have more reasonable ways to enjoy the outdoors and to supervise youth. That's my hope and of course extends to people of all age groups. Many people have had difficult losses to bear. The more we can explore 'what all of this means' and how to cope and continue, the stronger we become and the more human, even if there are more questions and feelings that come up than 'answers'. Feeling supported by community and caring people and friends can make a big difference. Everyone can benefit from realizing feelings can pass like storms or weather conditions and to not act irrationally.

Thoughts are not dictates and watching one's words and 'threats or unkind promises' can bode well for one to reasonbly think things over with a friend or to even 'change one's mind' without feeling that's not an option. Time is very healing. The world is big and beautiful. Let's work to keep those things in the forefront of our minds.

Thanks to all working and trusting along these lines. There is a lot on youtube to inspire people about the afterlife and the nature of our existence with more insight into our energy and consciousness than we knew back when Kobe or Kaelan was young. Kaelan's memorial service is on youtube in short segments and it can be helpful to ponder the experience of a community as many gathered and some shared folk songs that have been passed down over decades. Let's keep a positive flow of love and care going over the span of time, together.

Update after reading more on Kobe Bryant's past: I see I was almost fortunate to have not realized Kobe's checkered past in terms of having forcefully assaulted at least one woman who was 19 years old at a hotel she worked at where he was staying. As difficult as that is to hear, hopefully every assault victim can feel informed about the high risk involved in assuming the best about someone and being in compromising situations.

It's not fair clearly to have to 'second guess' who, what, where, why and endless other concerns about someone who one would think 'could be trusted.' But that reality played out many times over in the past in part due to denial and missing the warning signs and much more.

The lack of education and laws were part of broken systems that still need mending. In a strange way when famous, talented people have these kinds of defects and issues, then that opens up the concern for humanity in general...and particularly males. In this modern age, hopefully there would be a way to help every person be clearly encouraged to have support for any concerning areas of their life and to take precautions.

There are more efforts to catch warning signs and even help people not be as vulnerable to stay in troubling situations for 'a meal ticket', to make progress in  school or job, or maintain the status quo due to fame, religion, social standing and other factors.

A person should seek safety and support. Whether other steps can be taken to warn others or inform authorities likely should be done with expert advice and support since it it a life-changing move with consequences for all involved. The kind of information on CA Protective Parents Association and Battered Mothers Custody Conference is key for everyone to consider and could be done as part of remembering the legacy of Kobe Bryant. The website from LundyBancroft.com can also be very helpful and enlightening.

ShouldIStayOr ShouldIGo.net is a site all can visit and consider whether a parent, person in authority, male or female or otherwise identified, can be a clear 'heads up' message to not abuse others. There is a book also for victims of abuse caught in relationship struggles These topics are not only personal or societal but also political in terms of the tactics and dynamics that play out. Keeping each other safe, sane and validated are longterm goals for evolving with love and fairness in the Big Game of Life and Learning.