Difficult Reality To Address to Prevent Neglect, Abuse and Worse In Families, Legal or Custody Matters

Submitted by livfully

on Wed, 02/09/2022 - 01:14

https://youtu.be/nIGOert-c0U is the link to a Canadian news story about the apparent murder-suicide of a biological father and his young child. The mother. Dr. Jennifer Kagan, was in a custody battle for a few years with Robin Brown, her ex-husband, with 40 legal interactions.

She had been told by case workers that Mr. Brown fit the profile of someone who could act out and take the life of others, but he had legal access to take their four year old Keira for the weekend.

When they did not return, a search located their bodies at the bottom of a cliff in a hiking area in February 2020. With more statistics showing that there are often repeated patterns of concern if not crimes reported yet 'parenting access' not affected, more advocates are pushing for prioritzing the Safety Of Victims, Both Child and Adult, to have protection from an abusive adult or parent, generally a father figure of the child/ren.

See the US Kayden's Law from the Pennsylvannia case of the loss of a young girl who was on an ordered custody visit with her biological father. The mothers in both cases are advocating for laws to protect children.

We own a great debt of thanks to Kathy Sherlock, Kayden Mancuso's mother, and her family who have worked tirelessly with their heartbreaking tragedy to improve the odds for other families to be given support to keep the children safe.

In 1 out of 3 cases when a man takes the life of his former or current wife, partner or mother of his children, he ends his own life as well. With more advocacy to understand the profile of warning signs and possibly the personality characteristics of someone who becomes controlling and threatening over time (or intermittently) more of society could help victims and social groups identify the problems for what they are. In addition to the 'direct hit' of harming and controlling the outcome of a legal dispute and insisting on taking matters into their own hands, an abusive person and high conflict situation can destroy or undermine the normal healthy development of the children and many other people connected to the family and situation.

With increasing 'irregularities, stress, legal and custody interactions monitored by poorly trained counselors, attorneys, judges and other advocates, the way forward can seem unclear and punishing not only to the victim and the children but many who may understand the problems but do not know how to advocate or assist. Funds and ongoing meetings online and with personal outreach to each member of the family with support for supervision of activities after school, on weekends and at special programs and trips (even to other family, sporting or group outings.)

Waiting to see how things turn out and hoping for the best is not a good game plan. Each person could be treated as though in a serious psycho drama since that is what is happening during a time of custody disputes, moving, transitiong and even facing more typical times of challenge such as the teen years, early adulthood and times of getting a license, a job, dating and more.

Each kind of situation could be explored in more public forums for warning signs of someone 'drifting or not clear about how to be accountable' to a group of one's peers in the community with guidelines spelled out for managing all aspects of care for oneself and others.

Driving when safe and sober, not working and taking on more stress than need be, finding replacements to supervise youth and elders or others, and showing people ways to use the internet and have teams of support could provide another layer of supervision.

Perhaps people can be 'followed' when there are concerns for safety, phone calls made and ways for people to have a friendly intervention and help each person have someone they can call and check in with regularly during a visit or time with someone who may be neglectful or abusive.

Most people can give their child a cell phone they can use to call 911 or at least a friend who can then make such a call if the other parent or neighbor cannot be reached. More people should be willing to allow for support along these lines almost like alerting people to call 911 for fire or emergencies.

In many states calling 211 can help one get some live person support. Online search for your state and 211(such as MA or CT 211.) In NYC in the USA people call 311 or look up NYC.gov. Here are some other ways to contact 311 in NYC: