Getting Free Consults (or even paying for them for detailed ones) likely worth it from Reputable Estate Planning Professionals
I wrote the following when hearing there will be a free talk on Estate Planning at the Falls Village CT DM Hunt Library later in June 2019. Keep an eye out in your area for such programs and do some research so you are familiar with basic terms. I am not associated professionally with any organization, including libraries or other groups giving talks or hosting them although I have gone to about a dozen talks over the years on this topic and find 'there's always more to learn' and that they are very helpful.
Then jot down questions or concerns. There may be a time to ask about these things. There are likely many free online programs and talks as well, so that could help more people 'have difficult conversations.'
While it can be very troubling for some to consider whether they would want ' extreme measures' to buy them more time to stay alive if badly injured or very ill, it can be almost as difficult to think about how one's finances can be managed to help one afford to live 'a good, long life' or even one that requires a lot of help if compromised healthwise of just needing to keep up with housing and food costs (and Medicare Part B...or understand what Medicaid is all about.)
There could be a Basic Primer on these things and a full curriculum developed for your average public person to learn about over time. Maybe there are some great programs online for just that. Getting people to indulge in them is another matter altogether.
Same with 'being an organ or tissue donor.' Some may have a clear idea of wanting to do that, while others are thinking 'not so fast..and not so much.'
There is a greater need to consider the possibilities for all aspects of transitioning over time or rather suddenly to needing more care, to having a health care representative make important decisions (hopefully largely based on what you have stated or written down or reviewed in The Five Wishes or other similar legal documents for your state. Ideally 'a summary of a page or two' of what to do would be helpful and needs to be legally signed and notarized often. So again, Check your State Requirements.
Consider that it is 'perfectly normal' to not have a clue about these things. Don't beat yourself up or feel doomed if you haven't given these matters serious thought. Only a small percentage of people 'have a will' in our country (the US.) Likely even fewer have told people where to find it! Often people are instructed to have important information "On the Refrigerator" and that may include key contact people for phone numbers and a DNR (Do Not Resuscitate) order.
Those need to be current and done with one's physician usually under fairly specific conditions, but doublecheck. The latest I heard was that someone in CT would need to have their DNR bracelet on (put on by a doctor) and not removed for the duration of it. If it comes off, the DNR order may not hold up.
Perhaps in nursing homes there would be some modification made but again that may vary by state and would be worth reviewing. Some people have been upset that they have been 'brought back to life' because their paperwork was not in order..or that they went through a very hard time dying and/or being revived.
None of this kind of consideration of serious topics is easy to do for very long periods of time..especially when one is in the thick of learning about options.
Keeping a journal over time may make sense. Much is explored in some posts on this blog livfully.org. And lucky everyone, there are more EOLD personnel, End of Life Doulas to help one think through various aspects of what may factor into one's situation and options.
They are not lega or medical personnel and are not directive but rather resource people to offer support in addressing these matters and much more in terms of thinking about appropriate care for someone with a longterm condition or terminal illness. There is also help for planing a time of transition before, during and after the actual death of a person.
This kind of pre-planning can be awkward or difficult for many people. Becoming familar with the natural process of dying such as offered through Doulagivers.com in a free initial program online and from others online can help ease the tension and fear that may cloud conversations that need to happen eventually.
Tough topics are easy to put on the back burner. (Tip, Don't put off buying life insurance.) Some states require it to cover student loans for instance, but of course anyone may find they 'wish they had something' so some policy from a reputable company is better than nothing.
But that doesn't mean they will 'solve themselves' though sometimes more people show up when a clear need is presented. Ideally everyone should be able to find help online or with books from nolo.com or other reputable sources for starters.
I like the array of topics covered on CT Senior Law as well such as Legal Caregiver Agreements which youth could learn about in high school (or 7th grade) and tell their elders about, as could faith communities and other civic groups and libraries.
This talk should be convenient for many in the tri-corner area though every state is unique with what is required, so important to work with an elder law attorney or other knowledgeable people to get one's ducks in a row.
Most people in their 50s should really be 'planning ahead.' I am not a legal or medical professional but have studied to be an End of Life Doula, or EOLD.
That is a key kind of job to help people think things through..and while most work with only a few people a year, it's important to have more educators about these topics and ways for entire groups to consider the resources in their community or what other options there are (to bring help in or to move to another part of one's area or beyond.)
With states having different guidelines, some may find it helpful to have 'another residency' to use as their primary one in order to facilitate care. Many 'snowbirds' go south for the winter.
Overall being older in a warmer climate can be a practical help as can being in a place with good transportation or ease of getting to medical appointments. But there's more to life than all that and being near family or one's hometown may be very valuable.
That's where going places when one is younger may help one 'think flexibly' about transitions as needed and finding new supports in whatever area one may want to be spending some time or near other family and friends.
There will be a 'silver tsunami' in terms of a huge wave of elders needing support on many levels. Some may do 'just fine on their own, thank you very much.'
There are not always ways to get a good read about how a person is actually doing, so more creativity and early patterns of engaging with people would be a wise move, such as through programs like Chore Service and offering to help with errands and housework, simple meals and trips.
Thanks for doing what you can locally and for the wider area as well. There are more independent advocates and initiatives forming. Consider "Village to Village' that started in Beacon Hill MA to help seniors understand the complexities of the modern ways of paying bills online or standards of care for themselves and their homes and finances.
TRIAD does a great job in the NW Corner offering programs and an informal way to network. Why not Formalize more of the networking options and help people find others to talk with and get help from as is reasonable? Thanks again for all everyone Is doing....It's A Lot!
This stuff can be part of what makes life meaningful and eventually also factor into the economy and help people feel they have support when they need it and keep track of their assets in a wise manner.
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