Michelle Branch Deserves a Breastfeeding Awareness & Activist Award (especially in SC, USA)
The topic of breastfeeding since the pandemic came up more for people worried about not having the right kind of formula to feed their babies, or enough of it for the duration that infants are on a fluid-only or fluids and appropriate soft foods (not water only in the first year by the way many say, so review that carefully to avoid having a problem due to not knowing especially if caring for a little one occassionally or the weather's hot and it seems reasonable but you haven't checked with the parents, doctor or online with a reputable approved medical site.)
That said, the headline that caught my eye today was about a celebrity singer Michelle Branch speaking out about an incident on a playground wherein another mother was staring at her when she was nursing her young infant discreetly while sitting on bench with her stroller in front of her.
Turns out the other mother, who Michelle shares in yahoo news article online by Erin Donnelly in a shame free series called How You Feed thought might want to be friends, left after telling her daughters that had to go because the woman was being immodest. Here's a response from a commenter by the moniker ThinkAboutIt (love that name by the way and agree with the points she makes!) The way the moniker was spelled out made me laugh when I noted the last three letters...of thinkaboutit with this comment especially....
"Girl, (directed to Ms. Branch), when you get to be a little older like me, and so many of my gal friends, you REALLY won't give a flip about what other folks say"
And, just like she said, what are *mammary glands* for anyway? They're not for men's visual pleasure and not for flaunting, regardless of what some people want to think, they were created for milk production, for sustaining the life of a baby.
I brought up both of my sons with healthy *breast milk* and never encountered anyone's wrath, even at the mall when shopping. Now, I was discreet about it, but not invisible.
Regardless, it's as natural as giving birth itself and she should be applauded, if anything just for caring enough to feed her baby naturally and making that sacrifice bc it is a sacrifice.
We moms who've fed our babies like that, must be committed to be linked to them for quite some time and there's often pain involved too from the swelling, mastitis, etc.--which is another whole area some folks don't have a clue about."-- That was from Thinkaboutit with many other comments shared as well.
I want to toast the people promoting breastfeeding and encourage more people to learn about the 'option and lost art' of supporting women and others who are expecting, all kinds of pregnancy preparation and support in practical ways with good food (which can help prevent low birthweight of infants that can be linked to many challenges for growth and development.)
We can collaborate for helping prevent smoking, drinking and drug use with free and encouraging programs, and many other aspects of nurturing people with healthy deliveries (including an awareness of what The Farm's Spiritual Midwifery book offers as a glimpse into supportive homebirth or assisted births by midwives and others in more natural settings for a reference of gaining insight into the natural process of growing an infant, supporting their own process on many levels and being more tuned into one's breathing and mindest in general and during labor and delivery and the special time of initial bonding with one's infant, ideally with plenty of 'skin to skin' time for the mother(s) and if comfortable (with a diaper on the baby etc as may feel reasonable) with the father and other caregivers and siblings to feel that more caring connection.
Wearing a swimsuit and taking a bath with one's infant and young children could be a nice activity especially with another responsible adult nearby to avoid any safety issues and help with logistics. Plenty of people figure out a routine to bathe with one or more of their kids (with kids wearing some shorts or bathing suits as well) with another adult helping with the care and to keep everyone on a sensible footing as though having a swimming lesson and helping a child acclimate to being in the world outside of the womb and over time becoming more aware of the qualities of water.
Many places in a city don't have a bathtub for taking baths, so basically having a larger tub for a child to play in can suffice with even a low level of water, but again have a time to play with measuring cups and have some water poured over them. Some gentle massage with olive oil at least on their hands, feet and face or arms and legs and gently on the tummy, is something done in India to help muscles relax and skin grow and keep from drying out.
Some recommend slightly warm sesame oil but some people are highly allergic to that so even if going to be around someone who is, one should not take that chance, and can just use olive oil or another one recommended by a reputable doctor or line of products. Learning to relax and be together in simple ways during meal times, transitioning to sleep time, waking up time (from a nap or in the morning) and connecting with nature by having fresh air from a window or time outdoors daily are all important parts of 'being and feeling human.'
Having a few caring folks and others as well that one can bounce ideas off of without judgment (even if differences of opinion are shared) is all part of navigating the landscape of parenting, caregiving and more, especially when getting into more public situations whether at story hours in a library or faith group or other playgroups or out on playgrounds. Lots to review and plenty to encourage each other to address 'a little at a time' and to be forgiving of oneself and others for 'being human' and making any errors in action or words to hurt oneself or others.
Often the two are linked where people will shame and blame others for issues that they have struggled with in the past, even from their childhood with trauma around someone silencing them or hurting them for being too loud (or not loud enough), not saying or doing the 'right thing' (with serious consequences), for having 'potty issues' and being forced to pee or poo in ways or at times they did not feel comfortable doing. Again that can be 'generational' and come with a sense of not being allowed to have privacy or gentle support maybe due to the stress in a household or many people in a setting needing to use a facility or just be part of a lot of commotion.
The idea of carving out prviate space for each person to be able to sit, stand, move and lie down is one we could work at as a society, More room to sit and read and relax (maybe outdoor spaces to rest on benches or in little open huts etc and even 'have laws about providing bathroom facilities and even a corner for some privacy in a subway car or on a bus) with some containers plastic bag liners and a commode one can use if needing to relieve themselves, one at a time please... Every city block could have a port-a-toiled with a bench nearby to help people be able to rest or change a child's diaper with some dignity.
If people had to evacuate from a city that would be one helpful 'station' that supplies could be provided from as well, so really one house per block could be a 'public restroom' type area (especially with city septic available.) That could start with one every 5-10 blocks and eventually have some makeshift 'safety zone' places (one for each gender and so forth would make sense, with a solid metal fence for privacy for instance.)
With people facing homelessness which could be called "houselessness' one man I met has advised, then everyone could have ways to get basic care needs met. That would also work with having vans that share basics for brushing teeth, having ways to comb and clean one's hair (there are dry shampoos, but maybe hooking up a sink to tank of water and having it high enough people could have a portable showerhead for washing hair or even a shower with shorts and tee shirt on then a place to change into clean clothers.) That would work in warm weather and hopefully in the winter appropriate places to shower would be made available.
It'd be reasonable to have a number of 'bathrooms and showers' centers with a few rooms to sit and visit so people could have time to be ready for work, school and other programs and just life without having to run home to change or at least have a place to clean up if they don't have a home. The energy consumption and resultant effects of pollution could make this kind of set up (especially in rural areas that could perhaps be attached to medical facilities or nearby shopping centers and faith groups etc, even with assistants for those needing extra help whether in wheelchairs or needing some laundry done as well. Boxed meals or other supplies could be available and sponsored by local groups.)
While many people will always want 'everything of their own and to wash clothes and towels even after one use --I met such people and they were using a ton of extra energy for that kind of living and no one was sick or messy even.'
Each person having their own household space (a corner of a room with their bed, clothes, a desk or table and chair and way to be organized with a back pace and even their own food snacks like nuts and dried fruit and water bottles and supplies for each season of the year to stay warm, dressing in layers usually to accommodate changes and various locations ideally along with good footwear, socks and cotton undergarments, can help people feel 'ready to go'. Living out of a 'pull cart' can seem odd but also is practical when travelling and trying not to use more space at someone else's place or in a public space.
Everyone could practice up with having a campsite as well to understand how that works and then modify the idea to help more people connect in basic ways as is 'safe and appropriate.' That can be harder than one thinks and needs more coaching still to have people learn to Ask for Permission to interact with others whether in a close space or starting to engage with eye contact (staring is not appropriate, and ideally one would give more distance to respect each other's social privacy and consider what is helpful or not for various settings such as in a neighborhood (good fences make good neighbors one saying goes, but there could be another group outreach to see who would like to connect and be in touch if there are concerns or other opportunities to do so.)
Message centers and 'phone chains' (with a couple of people really taking the reins to see if people understand them or want to be in a directory or listing of some kind whether handwritten or online or have other ways to check in such as with a community coordinator, a minister or small group in a program or school network such as a PTO or other neighborhood based effort.
Usually working from the wider parameters such as a country to the regions of a country (N, S, E, W and even with subdivisions such as central area between N and S and 1 or more sections of E and W, so again a central area would make each country into a grid of nine parts...or more such as 12 or 16. Then each region could again be put in a grid of a quadrant or more. Those are sometimes called regions or catchment areas. In some states in the US there are districts for schools and in our area there is a Council of Governments that includes about 20 towns in the northwest corner of CT. That office is located in Goshen by the gas station plaza.
With more care and hearing from what people of each age group need to have basic needs met and using existing networks such as schools, faith groups, community and senior centers, and nursing homes, assisted living and many other programs for each kind of industry and union, more people can express what would help them with their dreams and teams to see those through over the years and decades. Often families and folks living in an area or working or studying together over many years get a great deal established yet it also takes a lot of funding and people to keep something going whether a school or town or other major effort in a state or country.
Let's see how we can pull together in this critical time of political decision-making regarding women's right to have a pregnancy terminated with the guidelines from the last 50 years or not with federal and state laws being reviewed and modified. A case of a 17 year old male possibly having killed his biological mother was also in the news today, one commenter called it a 'reverse abortion.'
The term can remind us many 'behing the scene risks' that whether intentional or not, some pregnancies or situations with infants (protecting them or becoming too stressed and taking drugs or being sleep deprived and having an accident or escalating domestic violence concerns, maybe putting the mother at risk to be killed more whether she has an abortion or not and even after having a child, being at harm to be killed by the father with or without the child as well.
Prayers and great care and respect to the challenges for all of the people, even those presenting as mentally unstable, cruel or incompetent, and especially if troubled by drugs or mental health issues, are worth our time and teamwork. Let's keep in mind the efforts and tragedies of the past, whether criminal or unintentional, accidental or otherwise.
Many people are burdened but more community efforts are shoring up efforts to pay attention to details and not have repeat patterns end in yet more offenses or loss, especially without consequences for those responsible on many levels, not just the direct action or inaction.
Hearing about the case of Brittannie Drexler on 20/20 and with summaries on Wikepedia sharing that her mother did not want her to go on a trip with other teens to Myrtle Beach SC from Rocheseter NY since there were no adults supervising (something I just learned now and feel would be a good standard for more to aim for if not require more ways of verifying with others to ensure this would not happen by chance.)
The other parents and teens could voluntarily pay some fines and do volunteer hours in the community as the other parents feel would be appropriate. While if 'you do the crime, you pay the time' is understood as a deterrent and forewarning, the arena of 'reckless endangerment or fatality' with adults who are parents of minors or supervising them as well as other minors of normal abilities could show an apology of action by sharing all they know about a situation including what led up to it even over months or years.
Factors of anyone having a domestic abuse, coercive control, other forms of conflict, violence and strained relationships with their caregivers, parents, teachers and others including friends and others, could be mapped out to explore the warning signs of decline.
It's reasonable to have a team approach in mapping such things out and again working to prevent further decline and misinformation or blaming victims of abuse for being abused or even acceping that children and minors acting out may 'want to be that way' independent of the pressure they have faced and conflict that is occurring in their lives even if it is not witnessed directly.
The tone of safety, support, honesty and interactions are more than clear to young people and many others beyond what meets the eye. There are many resources on this livfully.org blog to help explore the problems that are often hidden behind tragic headlines of 'IPV...Intimate Partner Violence' or other family conflicts and crimes. These are often not explored or understood.
The violence and harm that fill crime shows is often unfortunately not only informing people of the danger in a society but possibly spelling out how not to get caught or hopefully not prompting more to follow suit. My sincere condolences to Brittanne's family and friends, and the crew that stuck with searching for her for years, with many twists and turns in the investigation but finally finding the likely attacker as someone who lived a double life.
That the situation continued for over ten years and others were accused of harming her but not found to be guilty leaves the case more open than shut and is a reminder 'anything could happen' and someone may not know even when theories are shared and some indication such as cell phones being tracked are explored. Overall the idea of being safe and more accountable for where one is going and playing within the guidelines would be helpful for all women and youth and even men and others of any gender or none.
he point is some people have serious problems or allow themselves to act out (and may feel out of control but many can 'change their tune when police or others arrive') so more people would be wise to undertand the complexity of what is happening clearly, like having correct clear vision without major problems for any reason.
Thanks for being part of this journey. Reading up on EdgarCayce.com can be eye opening and help more people consider that energetcially our journeys may be quite something beyond the physical or social or other life aspects we may usually define ourselves as manifesting. The realm of intention, accountability of thought, word and deed as aiming toward what we Do want and not what we Don't want is a specia key that can help over the long haul starting with today!
With all due respect to many cultures, faiths and everyone's journey...I share a bit more about the 'reality' of our biology and humanity, counting in the mystery and wonder of both eggs and sperm and all parts of reproduction and people's humanity....In many ways the loss of eggs, sperm, fertilized eggs and embryos (frozen or intact) as well as the more advanced death of young humans, infants, one or more fetuses, reminds us that each are part of this 'equation and discussion' , spiritual concerns and world in terms of ideas, science, biology and having living qualities or life before or after breathing... even before they are in physical form. In that regard we should not speak as those smaller entities or people as 'less than' in terms of their being and humanity. It's a serious concern and idea to share but important for more people to try to factor into discussions.
Even as the abortion debate is heating up and happening for one female or other person to the next, we can take time to factor in the major reality that one's health (that of the person carrying a pregnancy) is as important as the one being carried and in many ways moreso because if she were compromised so might her child be. The evolution of allowing for abortion in the US came from many decades and centuries of advocacy for safe medical solutions to what was happening for many people 'in dangerous ways and maybe resulting in the death of the mother as well.' The complexities of life and relationships merit far more discussion than was allowed in the past.
Trying to map out an honest way to care for young people so they can have a 'full life' at least to age 20 and even older before landing with major responsibilities for years or more with being in a committed relationship or having a child (or both even if desired) is something that is a luxury and maybe would cost millions of dollars to make available. Even if people had free computer access, knowing what to study and keep up with while in school and learning other basics may be more than one can keep up with. The cost of living has hampered people's health and often factored into staying in negative and harmful situations.
Hopefully the freedom for good health care can become a shared goal, including easy and supportive access to abortions when needed or desired within reaonable guidelines that have been in place for decades. More support for all pregnant people and families would also be worth prioritizing, even over the last year of high school. People who want to study and learn could have more support to do so with online programs. Cuts in military spending or other major funds would make sense if they are needed. Likely more taxes directed to helping youth grow up in healhty ways with good food and proper housing and schools would have the best impact on helping society going forward. We seem to turn our backs on people in need yet expect them to break their backs to keep society afloat.
I have been exploring many aspects of this on my blog for years and there's plenty more are doing now.
A few months ago I read in Mother Jones (June 2022 or so) that one man mainly planned to make abortion illegal based on some loopholes and some historical points that most attorneys and theorists never thought could come to light. All of these dynamics are important to keep in mind. Helping women and young people be more informed of what is happening physcially and mentally as well as otherwise with relationships and responsiblities is a shared concern and endeavor.
We need to see what can be done in schools and in faith and coaching groups to help people feel more aware and supported at each stage of their life, no matter how it was understood or lived up until now. Many people are trapped emotionally and practically as though an infant who can only be nursed because there are no viable options.... but even that is a rare situation even during the pandemic and hopefully everyone in such a critical set of circumstances could get help to find help... at a local ER or stabilization center such as in Shelton CT and in Poughkeepsie NY.
There should be a 24/7 resource in each state and they are helping many. Still as I share in recent posts on my blog there is vast room for improvement and a great need for competent homecare providers. There is also a high need for each person to work with others so not to overtax the emergency services with false claims of abuse (maybe due to dementia or other medical or social issues but not understanding how conflict can escalate even among caring friends and families.)
We need to prioritize that kind of concern so more youth and young adults understand we have broken systems that too often rewared confusion, abuse and tyranny on many levels. So it's not likely to 'evaporate' overnight. I will share other ideas from people's writing from youth in my area, some with great insights and helpful ideas that maybe were written then to help us today even more than a decade later. Keep trying and remember as my Mom told many, "You're Worth It" so if anyone asks you your name, you can say it's, "Worth It!"