Permaculture Basics and Games (even one on this blog Turtle Garden Permaculture Game) can Help in These Times

Wishing the world into the way we want it to be (not as it is or one feels it has to be) is part of the wisdom and way forward for our sense of togetherness and team.

I wanted to start on a positive note since so much about climate change and these times with the Ukrainian conflict and the possible spread with more destructive politicians and forces gaining momentum can make us feel helpless and hopeless, like a turtle crossing on a busy highway in the dark or worse being tossed on its back. It takes a miracle sometimes to see something in a new light, to hang onto the hope that 'help is on its way' and find a way to process one's emotions, thoughts, beliefs and social support to keep up with the daily demands and drama.

Can anyone relate even though we are pummeled with a negative news cycle with few reminders that most of the world behaves and believes in helping oneself and others in balanced ways, sharing the load of work and the road to get where we're each wanting to go (or needing to at times or helping others.)

Okay so check out the Design Process to help with playfully connecting with others and dreaming up ways to create a garden, play area, place to gather and ways to network around many aspects of helping people with ADLs (Activities of Daily Living) or other common needs of coming and going throughout the day (planning meals, getting groceries and cooking or helping one another with housework, people care needs such as childcare, elder care and assisting those with mobility or other needs.)

I will share some ideas of routines some have honed over many years to encourage others to be ready and implement game plans early and often for themselves and others to have basic routines, systems and supports to get back on track and keep up with agreements and accountability (follow through with regularity not just in general or now and then especially when it comes to keeping youth and even young adults monitored if going on outings in nature or on the town, driving others or even themselves in dicey weather and such.

Please wear seat belts and don't be distracted when driving with texting or even talking a lot on the phone since that can be akin to other kinds of distraction. That's especially true if on the highway or with others in the car (or others on the road so one doesn't crash into others or thereabouts cause a problem that's just not necessary whether fast braking or swerving since one may be less than on the ball.)

I have plenty of posts on promoting safety in and around cars, in parking lots and I'll add to driveways with better lighting and awareness people pull out of those and into those sometimes without much signalling. At larger events the odds can go up quickly for a problem even getting into a parking lot since people may slow down or traffic in the lot may get backed up and those turning in may get stuck in a lane before the lot. Got that?

I will mention a miracle from forty years ago when a dancer in a show at a community theater happened to see someone sitting in their car with their feet on the ground and the door open. She said hello to him but he didn't answer back.

She thought he was being rude but then thought to look closer even though she was walking a bit fast to get to ready for the show. She noticed he had some food on his lap on a white paper wrapper and that he looked like he wasn't able to speak. She said, "Are you choking?" He nodded a bit. She sprang into action 'without thinking' and told him abruptly to get up. He was about six feet tall  and about 170 lbs and she about five and a half feet tall and all of 130 lbs.

She wrapped her arms around him, placed one fist over the other with her thumb secured in the the closest fist  above his belly but under this diaphragm at the bottom of his ribcage. She gave his four quick 'In and up' swift compressions and he whatever was stuck in his throat was dislodged! He bent over and out came  something that looked like a hotdog! When she asked if that was what he had been eating he said, "No, I was chewing on stringy roast beef and couldn't get the meat cut with my teeth so chewed a bit more of the sandwich but then the other part slid down my throat!' 

There was a small crowd of singers warming up their voices at a piano about 50 feet indoors from where he was in the car. The door was open next to where they were so I asked why he hadn't thought to get up and seek help. He was the lighting fellow usually climbing around above the crowd so what was the big deal about figuring out how to get some help when he was so close? Maybe you can guess or would feel the same way (who knows how any of us will really feel or be able to respond in such an emergency or crisis?)

He said he was way too embarrassed and never would have ventured in that room full of friendly folks to seek help! I have learned that many people die from choking in the bathroom in a restaurant or at a party thinking they can figure out a way to throw up or drink something to flush things down.

Please let's learn from these tragic cases or close calls and be brave enough to ask for help or offer it when it's safe and reasonable to do so! I could have run in to get help as well now that I think about it, but thankfully things went well and the show did go on without too much more of a challenge.

Actually a top notch dancer who could spin like a top and kick like a football star was warming up with many others on stage going about their lines and business. She was doing some simple stretches then was doing some small kicks and then some whammies, grand batements with a leg flashing up to the ceiling like a swithblade swiftly opened with the swisch of a wrist. On the second one up, a fellow innocently happened to turn his head to walk in her direction when her foot swung up to knock his head back from below his chin.

Thankfully he survived and she put the brakes on her rocket ship leg launches. The dancer gal who'd saved the fellow from choking saw that up close and thought there's a lot more to show biz than putting on some entertainment. It's a life and death effort almost just to get the show up and running.

In light of what Will Smith did to Chris Rock at the 2022 Oscars (which I've learned Will is now banned from for 10 years and I reflected more on that on this Livfully.org blog as well) the 'accidental kick to the face from the past should have been addressed more seriously or with free tickets to future shows for the victim!

But maybe that's part of the bigger wisdom and show for more to hear about...what goes on 'behind the scenes' of anyone's life, whether close calls or trysts and yearnings to have a different situation, relationship, job, outcome and what interactions one is part of or blamed for or playing into even when not knowing the signs of what can go wrong or awry.

Keeping track of what the main story and side stories are and ways to coach oneself and others to 'looki n the mirror' and not see only what is one's visual field but hearing what others are sayring and sharing, and also tuning into one's own feelings and inner voices and visions are all part of the adventure and experience we signed up for in a life time many say.

Okay on this April 11th, 2022, I'll be thinking of many who gathered in prior years to learn and celebrate the teachings and guicance of Sri Chinmoy.

His life of devotion to teaching, meditating (only sleeping less than two hours daily) and encouraging vegeterianism and fitness even running and weightlifting are things more can enjoy factoring into their lives and communities.

There's plenty online and a photo of him can bring a lot of inspiration to remind one of a life well lived. A thousand folks from around the world would gather on this day in NYC to remember him and share a few days of singing and other gentle activities. I got to spend about a week learning some aspects of the NYC Meditation offerings and meeting Ashreta Furman among others. He holds many world book records so again plenty of inspiration.

Thanks for taking time to think kindly of yourself and others in balanced ways, living and forgiving yet learning that some modern laws and times call for 'conscious control' and even separation (or not being alone or speaking directly with someone if laws and practices advise otherwise.)

That can be part of custody or other conflicts. See what Battered Mothers Custody Conference shares online (a video with a few moving stories with important insights and yes, tragedies shared. Kayden's Law speaks to protecting children and victims of abuse during custody and hopefully will inform other practices to be proactive.

I spoke with some from Alzheimer's Association saying we need more protection for those who are dependent on people who may have mental health or dementia type symptoms so there are more supports for victims of abuse or neglect, especially if disabled, poor or in need of help.

The privacy some seek is not balanced with other ways for people to have support and even caregivers can be at risk of harm from other caregivers or family if not the clients they care for. That can take the form of mistreatment verbally, emotionally, with coercion or threats  to harm or not pay for services (what is fair and legal.)

That can also include having rumors or allegations made that can result in investigations if not arrests and further legal trouble such as being sued or having to move or make sudden changes in one's work or living situation to accommodate a crisis. If a person does not have other living arrangements or back up support for the person needing care the troubles can mount quickly.

There should be funds available with social services of other help to address such needs but our society is not set up that way for some reason. Every community should have some 'emergency shelter' resources and encourage all citizens to have support from others who are safe and appropriate to be able to camp out on a couch if not in a yard or local area with support from other families and friends as much as possible.

That could be explored and assisted by grassroots groups or faith or non-profit groups in terms of helping with crafting clear safety plans for rides, support if police or other medical needs arise, childcare and short term care and housing for others who may need it even in their home or with more team support to figure out plans.

I have been doing this kind of behind the scenes planning and reporting 'what works' and what can be problematic, including having people in a care situation who are unstable and creating chaos or harm, escalating situations and not able or willing to take a 'time out' or walk outside or drive or make a call to someone for support.

There can be physical assaults (such as what the world witnessed with Will Smith taking matters into his own hands and deciding for Chris Rock on the spot what his consequence and actual punishment should be and would be without question or pause (a kind of Don Quixote quest but also reminiscent of the master-slave dynamic with Will maybe not only feeling insulted but superior to the point of entitled to take matters into his own hands even though he may not have been conscious of feeling that masterful. If a police officer had been posiitioned in front of the stage, Will likely would have thought twice but he also may have ordered the policeman to arrest Chris Rock.

And that is a point for discussion, whether there would be grounds for 'stopping the show' since someone felt offended, almost as though called a hate-crime type of name which can trigger a police call even to a  grade school since there are rules of reporting such. Same with making loud or disturbing noises (disturbing the peace or disorderly conduct or assault charges can be filed even for someone yelling.

In the early 2000s in a small wealthy town in the USA, one  mom  who had been caring for her children for many yearw without incident was arrested after her husband called the police after  she left her home saying it wasn't fair that she should feel she needs to leave and that he, the father of her kids saying it didn't matter and it was god she was leaving.

That hurt her feelings even more and she told him as much that wasn't fair and he should look at his part in the problems that were happening.He wanted to make a tape recording of her but she turned it off and it fell on the floor.

She said she wanted him to listen, but he just turned the recorder on. She said she really didn't want that, and threw the recorder down the stairs (no one was downstairs who could have come into range of that.

But she later learned that throwing anything can be deemed 'a projectile missile'. She met one woman who threw something and got a year in jail for that even though it didn't hit the man who she was feeling was abusive. Another man once said his wife was mad at him for not listening to her and she was ironing.

He was resting on the couch and she threw the iron at him, chipping a cement wall above him as he rested. Another time a mom threw a frying pan off the stove feeling distraught that her husband was not listening to her. He laughed when she sincerely said he'd probably be ready for her to go to a psych ward before he would ever get help.

He just said, "You're the crazy one, not me'" On a number of occassions the shattering of the dream of having a safe, secure even 'holy' marriage and the repercussions of breaking up her family, not having 'one household' with the children she loved dearly and had hoped their father would join in showing more affection for her and them diminished as though a free fall. Even though the decline was steady and went on for eons and years, and yes, one child to the next.

There wasn't a lot of planning really other than agreeing to marry if they got pregnant and very little idea of what that meant logistically to live together, to have enough money to pay necessary bills like car insurance, rent or some contribution if living with family (which they did for two years which seemed like a good support system and a monitoring team but was not without the drawbacks of not being in her own family or in her own home which only happened after the separation but was not easy to enjoy with the huge stress of divorce and custody matters that dragged on for years.

Then other significant losses broke her heart and almost her spirit, but by then the toughening up to the reality of not only the affects of drug use by others she depended on or tried to raise a family with but also the confusion and criminality in the courts and other systems denying the problems and yet also many spiritual groups and theories stressing we are more than flesh and blood and even our social roles and ties helped her consider the more profound aspects of life spiritually and even as the mortal life as a person ends as not only tragic (even when that was the case) but possibly meaningful in terms of helping awaken humanity and allow each person their spiritual and social journey to explore what it means to be human.

There's still a lot to ponder of course, but allowing the flow of feelings, insights,, dreams and ways ot addessing 'all of the above' kept her boat afloat and helped her reunite with her children and more when those opportunities arose. Moving to a new state and city, away from a small town situation, opened up many avenues of thought and awareness even though not everyone had the welcome mat out.

There was a busyness and bustle that was hard to join into yet being part of a more formal set of apartments and a nice neighborhood with faith groups and a local park and such with more groups online and in person showed the growing possibilities to face the future, 'come what may' and with a greater degree of self-determination than seemed possible earlier in life. The caregiving load lightened a bit but was still a key aspect of the daily living.

Growing networks in that realm led to developing more support for others in similar 'isolating or challenging' situations socially and workwise. In these modern times more people are tuning into a lot more about the nitty gritty of life, caregiving (with unions seeking better wages, paid time off and insurance for instance for homecare workers or others who may not have such benefits even in more established settings.)

The free economy has yet to tap more local networks among faith and non-profit funds and groups to provide back up and support for Caregiving Response Teams but all of these should be possible. The refugees may be showing the world more of what is to come due to clmate change as the oceans rise.

Giving one another hope to live ones dreams sooner rather than later, to show up and be part of one another's lives and cheerleading teams can seem like luxuries when knowing that survival goals may take precedence such as during COVID lockdowns from 2020 and that are still happening in places like Shanghai.

Let's keep one another in our hearts and prayers for peaceful living and gratitude for each person in our circles who may be on our team (even to teach us of their struggles and develop ways to comprehend more of what's going on behind the scenes and headlines of the day with ways to promote the good and let the more difficult and dark be a thing of the past.)

Everyone who is able being willing to seek outside counsel such as from BetterHelp.com or friends and hotlines and resources (yet be aware many are mandated reporters and leaving anyone in danger of harm or neglect can be viewed as complicit or responsible for the harm done, even knowing someone is not safe and not warning others...which is a delicate area to explore but again could help that person not create more danger for others or themselves so really is a more loving way to go even again if not clear and easy.

Saying things to a larger group to 'warn and alert everyone' of the need to be more accountable in the future is a fair and helpful way to go. That's what I do with many of my postings on this blog and other forums which I hope to do more of soon such as livfully.medium.org to reach a wider forum.

The children in another room told police who the father had called that their mom yelled and said he was concerned if she returned.

Only the six year old understood the situation which was about five minutes in length since the mom was leaving the the father came in the home before she got out after going back in to get a toothbrush and change of underclothes. They did not ask the six year old but she recounted things to the mom months and even years later, saying 'The whole point of you leaving was that he wasn't being fair to you.'

On those grounds the woman was arrested at the place in the same state she had gone to (but likely would not have been if she had gone to another state or at least not during the abuse she was experiencing) and a report to DCF, Department of Children and Families, was filed by the father. They gave him temporary primiary control over the home and the children for a few days.

That turned into six months of him not allowing her to see the children more than a few minutes at his family's home (a suggestion the mom came up with and he thankfully allowed. He then started a divorce process, something he has said he would pursue dozens of times to get her to comply with his rules and such  along with saying he would call the police many times but did so only now and then even though there was no reason to do so. That was likely a set of mental illness and drug related behaviors playing out and taking not only the family but the town and courts for a ride like a runaway train.

Both families of the parents suffered hundreds of hours of stress and confusion because no one understood alcoholism and effects of marijuana as well as someone who did not have a reasonable way to get help for his inner turmoil and mixed motives of wanting a family, managing to work and yet not able to function in a relationship or role as a safe, appropriate father whether in a relationship or not.

Those are the kinds of issues explored at Battered Mothers Custody Conference with many insights shared about coercive control and ways to create laws and programs to address those dynamics, not abandon victims (whether than stay with the person or leave since the factors of safety and other concerns can run deep whether religious or spiritual beliefs, social circles and life time patterns and support systems and a clear path with support to understanding options and ways to achieve transitions over time.

Some states like Oklahoma punish a mother with jail time if her children are abused or killed, whether she really understood the risk or not. Now we see the states reviewing terms of when a woman can have an abortion and need to address that many women are forced into a pregnancy (or an abortion and either way their risk of harm may not diminish) so women need to be informed early and often about the risk of harm in relationships particularly with men but also with others who have 'power, control and influence' over their housing, support and social ties. Too much bullying and denial by many other family and friend players in the victims lives, even their children whether younger or older, can play a strong role in locking in the abuse dynamics, as affirming the sanity of the abuser and questioning that of the victim. We need names and ways to disentangle these difficult dynamics

. A similar set of confusing strategies come into play as though in war or street gang violence where there is payback or lies and rumors, disinformation and more fueling feuds and creating distrust and growing forums of confusion and ostracism of one or more victims or families. The agencies intending to help victims are often under strict rules not to criticize the government or risk losing their funding. They also may only deal with 'domestic violence' not sexual assault or control and intimidation so victims may be left in the dark fot figure things out.

By going to a faith group more messaging about taking the blame or turning oneself into a pretzel to fit the social, moral, and even sexual role or demands of one's family role (devoted faithful spouse ) may further isolate a person, especially a mother, from gaining insight into her own sense of safety and social validation if not financial and housing support. Many faith groups are locked behind layers of denial with many victims of abuse wandering about as though blinded by force or complying to wear a blindfold to prove their faith, In this time of the Christian calendar set of events of Palm Sunday and Easter, more of the persecution by those in control is presented as inevitable with the only mortal way out to 'suffer and pay the ultimate price' of allowing oneself to be done in by the crowd and those in control.

That has been a theme of persecuted people for years, but with more modern insights that the crimes of slavery and limiting people's access to natural resources and housing in all parts of a country due to economic barriers and in the past, ethnic and social ones, that old world is crumbling as new ways of affirming people's humanity arise. Eve Wilson writes in Riding the Wave of Change many profound insights to consider as do many others on forums such as Humanity's Team that people are changing from the inside out, from the heart and awareness level to our very DNA.

That may sound super sci-fi but there is also a warning and awareness that 'the robots are coming' and much of humanity will be chipped but choice or control of others, in one or more countries. The path of humanity from before taking on physical form to the modern world in the last few hundred years and now into the space and computer age is one we are part of and can reflect on more profoundly. (That path is something covered by Eve Wilson and again many others and with insights also from EdgarCayce.com and others I share on this Livfully.org blog if one does some digging as though for gems of wisdom and a sense of each person being a jewel and part of a large energetic jewel family of humanity, animals and nature as well.)

Okay so let's pull together as we can, one day and garden and group at a time and let the stories and lessons of the past inform our present anf future with more hope and faith in humanity and spiritual supports leading the way for a brighter outcome for all. Here are other resources...

https://www.transitionculture.org/ and robhopkins.net are some sites from my Permaculture Basic Training resources shared by Ethan Roland. I heard on the news the UN is issueing more dire warnings about climate change for our  one and only planet.

I also heard that Texas through NC could get hammered by heavy rains, hail, and a tornado in the next day or so. Not good news but a wake up call to help us all direct more energy toward learning together.

New Hampshire schools are teaching kids about the concerns I realized from an NPR radio show today. Then recently on CNN news I saw how the Sierra Madres mountains that usually have five feet of snow this time of year only have a couple of inches and plenty of 'no snow' sites.

That means a lack of water supply as spring and summer come into full swing. I hope we can figure out ways for people to migrate 'calmly and orderly' toward places with better natural resources (fresh water) as David Pogue suggests in his book about Adapting to Climate Change (which is already here and more regular folks need to think about seriously, not just wait for politicians.) Okay back to thinking happy Spring thoughts...