Thinking Through the Ins and Outs of Community Networking and Advocacy! One Day At A Time..peace and light, Talking about Evolution..with Love

Here's to keeping abreast of the many great ways to enjoy summer, and really each season of the year, with neighbors and newcomers at local events and growing in community networking efforts.

A few folks have asked me, "Well, what does Community Networking mean..what will happen or who does that involve?" What I've been doing since very young in these small CT towns as well as in larger ones (New Haven and Fairfield CT, at Vassar College and then back in the hill towns of the northwest corner CT and more recently for a couple of years in Brooklyn NY) is getting to know who is doing what in town, seeing how I could help (even from afar with letters to the paper and then with this blog, www.livfully.org and much more.) 

With the idea that everybuddy gets a public education but no guaranteed social and supportive network outside of the classroom, not before going into school or after coming out, I have felt drawn to 'fill in those gaps.' Businesses and non-profits as well as faith groups and other civic ventures such as libraries (which are not fully publicly funded if at all) do a lot, but that personal invitatin and wrap-around care is not a given. It's up to Each Person Individually to figure out how they can benefit from available services and connect with the people who serve as bridges to those resources. In small towns, if people are not on the 'in crowd' that may feel like being 'shut out' socially and otherwise from what is going on. What kind of FUNctioning town or society is that? Not fun.

Whether people are in neighboring areas, towns, states or similar clubs or age groups, there are often natural networks and some social and civic ways to grow a healthy root system. 

Yet like a garden project, creating the inital ground and set up as well as the first plantings and tending, that can take a few seasons or even years (some might say decades) to establish. While 20 somethings may be technically 'grown up' without their peer groups and connections to the larger world, they can feel like high school freshman with every year they come closer to 30. Depending on what they did or didn't get around to, the 30s can become a repeat of their 20s and many may still feel more disconnected or in recovery from living it up with a lot of substances, gambling, hard work schedules or isolated parenting or challenging relationships in those late teen to 30s years.

So maybe by age 40 people are feeling 'more secure about something and some people in their lives' even if many of their earlier contacts have shifted due to moves, changes in work or living arrangements, maybe even separation and becoming a single parent if one had a partner or help. Hmm. even children grow up so that by age 50 one's community maybe needing one's help or others are looking to you for wisdom about how to plan a successful life.

What if the old groups have shifted (become more competitive or pricey for sports, music, enrichment classes.) Scholarships may be needed and even available, but you need to Apply Early, maybe online or with recommendations with a few months lead time.

So it's a Necessity to have a Recreation Committee or Websites with info and ideally someone pitching the great options well in advance, maybe on Another Website..one for each age group or grade, each season and so on (which likely doesn't exist Yet.)

But we can set some standards and have support people help all youth from age 8 up start 'developing their resumes and interests, get some programs and internships or volunteer hours in, join 4H, Scouting or other groups to feel they can plan a summer or year round activity. Having an idea about weekends and ways to network with others with similar interests, get to know their communities such as libraries, theatres, arts and theatre camps or voice and instrument lessons and more can be a shared endeavor.  A few parents having an outreach to the youth in their children's grade level could record what each student is doing (or in general what programs and teachers, trips and events they are enjoying.)

With parents and others sharing information, then the next group of youths and their families can consider pursuing those and add their own finds as well. Soon a comprehensive understanding of what is available even through faith groups and other offerings could help keep a young person supported in their learning and growth. Same could hold true for parents and other adults. Staying fit, healthy and involved with a few basic ways to socialize and use helpful standards to maintain a 'regular set of routines and flexibility' would help more people join in who may otherwise remain on the fray.

If people need help with details such as clothing, rides, food and meal planning or shopping, light housework, rides and more, programs such as The Chore Service in the NW CT area which serves elders could be developed to help younger people as well. Perhaps youths could work in pairs or teams and gain work experience for pay or barters (rides, scholarships and more.)

Let's keep the various laws and best practices in place such as having at least two responsible adults supervise youth even if at a sleep over at a private home (and two women supervising sleepovers for girls would be in keeping with basic supervision practices from years ago and likely would still make sense.)

Same goes if a more public kind of event hosted by a school, library or other venue. Having some other adult back up if someone got sick or help were needed would make sense too.Having a signed permission slip (ideally witnessed when the parent or other responsible sober adult dropped a youth off would make sense.

And ideally no one would drive if using alcohol or other drugs, even prescription meds if driving is counter-indicated. All the more reason to think of who designated drivers could be to pick youth up and share rides as makes sense. Having people show proof of car insurance and current registration might makes sense (since a driver is held accountable even if they are driving someone's else's car and the registration has lapsed.)

Okay so the overall Game Plan to is to have a very savvy set of citizens who play by the rules and include people in appropriate offerings rather than 'plan to exclude them.'

IF someone does not meet the criteria for something (even a 12-step program for instance) serious consideration should be taken if asking someone to leave in terms of being as polite and appropriate as possible without cornering them or singling the person out or when alone even outdoors. The person should be contacted by phone if possible or have a letter sent even 'anonymously' or otherwise find a way to ask to meet in a public setting where all partied are comfortable and a reasonable discussion could pursue even if brief.

When dismissing people from a program or place, the laws pertaining to such a situation should be clarified by a neutral third party. If the place is a hospital, library, faith or civic group location that is not necessarily a 'free public place' The rights of an individual or small group or larger group of people need to be clarified in light of what the policies of the program and place are.

For instance with 'no smoking policies' that can often extend to the grounds of a building as well as the building. If possible, informing all parties and the community with a review of the current practices and giving a person who may be at risk of violating those 'fair warning' and encouragement to review the situation Before a Final Expulsion from the group is made would be reasonable if it is not a violent or otherwise intentional offense or breach of rules. Ideally the entire group would be well informed of the concerns even if not the people involved. The process should be as transparent as possible. 

Sharing some insights with the wider public, as this post is doing, would also be reasonable. IF someone is ousted for a personal bias or inappropriate reason, the people and the group could provide the rejected person with a verbal or written apology and an invitation back into the group if that would be of interest and perhaps after more consideration and practice sessions from both parties. Even then 'role playing' could be used to help each party become more clear about the overall experiences and expectations of both parties.

If someone became hurt or injured or gravely injured linked to blocking someone's warnings or requests for help that is another area to mend a bridge with sincere consideration likely with a written set of insights and inquiries so everyone can comprehend the matters at hand.

The goal would be one of deeper understanding and allowing for healing on some level to occur. In addition such sharing could prove pivotal in preventing other similar future challenges.

There's much more to community networking on many levels, but the personal struggles may often be linked to systemic flaws or shortcomings and larger problems can often mushroom without enough sincere dialogue and reasonable compromise, pacing and more neutral parties faciliating the discussions.