Skip directly to content

Tough topics, but one on the news in a timely way... To think about pregnancy and unintended or unwanted pregnancies or not... that's a big first part of the question

on Wed, 05/15/2019 - 17:03

This difficult topic needs discussion on all levels by all people... so I am sharing this to get more people up to speed on the challenges people are facing in many areas of their lives.. Unintended pregnancies account for many pregnancies..Ideally every community would make birth control available to all of their young people and screen everyone for safety so women are not being pressured into staying in relationships or having intimacy or sex (the two are not the same in many cases) more than they really feel they can, really want or can figure out.

There is a lot to learn from the newsletter CA Protective Parents Association. Overall, even when people have children, there can be many pressing issues to learn about to keep the kids and moms safe ...and sometimes that includes the dads too. There is a great need for a comprehensive ongoing outreach to help everyone 'figure out where they are on life's road map' and have a team of informed, capable support to craft the next steps in their life.

That could break the confusion and isolation that can keep many women feeling trapped. That said, some people in 'consensual relationships' may not understand the level of maturity and economic capability needed to have their own living space (even affordable room and basic transportation. )

If some efforts couid be made to teach financial responsibility and even living amicably in group settings (like dorms but co-housing etc in a shared affordable space, with some camping options in the warmer months etc) people could learn over a few years what the commitment would be to be in a romantic relationship which generally leads to wanting one's own residence for a couple. Maybe more women could share homes and other places for men would help on a practical level to assist people with living 'their own values and within logistical shared economies' of affording more independent living.

These are simple ideas but those are often over-looked (as is free birth control or real support for those willing to not be intimate physically) with programs and supportive coaching and validation. If people could wait to be in their mid 20s then likely more clarity about their own values and what they are willing to agree to likely would come into focus.

Not a walk in the park, but more wisdom about many aspects of living in these modern times in America are needed...and when pregnancies happen, hopefully people would have support in making their decision if they want to explore having a baby (or sometimes multiples) with people who would be there consistently in their communities (local help groups they could count on and who could offer support or transitional help as needed. ) There are no groups guaranteeing such things.

There are growing ways that a 'child can be taken from a birth mother' and even father...and put in foster care for up to two years then adopted out. Some of those avenues are not well understood by communities and may be of a corrupt nature (to meet quotas...or to allow for abuse with no repercussions.) Even if a mother rears a child/ren there is no guarantee she can keep custody of the child/ren even if there is abuse. That's what the Battered Mothers Custody Conference which has run for 14 years discusses on a national level. See their site for important current information including recent research.

This issue is one for Younger People to Comprehend since most people over 40 are too tired and busy planning for the next parts of their lives or just wanting to Retire Nicely...So there are many pressing matters with very few people really thinking things through..and Climate Change has us all 'on the clock' for the next few decades to figure out ways to survive reasonably...and it's not looking good unfortunately. But for now, we have time to think about an important issue facing many.

Keeping abortion legal and available will protect more lives than not. I would hope the numbers, which have dropped significantly as I recall would continue to do so with better education on many fronts (understanding one's biology, monthly cycles and times of fertility, knowing about abuse and watching comprehensive programs for an hour weekly for a couple of years ...and yes, we'd have to put together a list but one could start with the Duluth Model and with DVSur5ver (I will look that up better).

Then there's plenty on livfully.org Only independent people and programs offer meaningful education about the corruption of courts and the many realities that victims face. DV groups cannot share the stories of victims, local statistics and get too proactive due to funding restraints and other limits about not criticizing the gov't. All people in a custody battle should assume they are victims of abuse and get insight into how to face that challenge in court and practical ways. Civic Research Institute online has some books available (and I have about a dozen if you want to network about that in the tri-corner MA/NY CT area or Brooklyn NY area...) We have to pull together and share what we've learned best as we can. More forums would make that possible...

NARAL is an organization working to keep abortion legal in all states. There are some raising funds at this time to keep places open. Limiting access or criminalizing what has been going on for decades is not a democratic or even a safe option for women or their loved ones and support circles to have to face. I was hearing some discussion on WAMC (National Public Radio or NPR) with people sharing ideas that there needs to be enough support for women to rear children they are 'forced to birth'. I do think the Nurturing Network helped about 5K women have babies they felt they couldn't afford. It would be helpful to have some studies done with the many women who have faced this choice over the past.

All faiths promoting waiting to have intimate relationships until one is engaged or married need to be ready to understand what that really means for each party involved. People of every faith deserve to know what their country's laws allow for. Many countries do not have legal abortion services, so the statistics and realities of the women in those countries (as well as of the men) would be helpful to have on hand. What is possible and what is ideal needs clarifying not only about the physical, social and economic realities as well as the faith and spiritual ideas and traditions.

With more support for women to 'make their own decisions early on' and have support throughout their lives regarding their safety, health and well-being..as well as for men to have a clear understanding of what their bodies, brains, social and financial options are and ways to navigate life's choices, hopefully far fewer people would find themselves in difficult situations. That's not a clear-cut solution but it is a start that more people could band together on thinking through to help people at every stage of life feel 'they have options' and really many ways to avoid things getting far more complicated than they intend or want to see over time...

These are a few thoughts to get the ball rolling as it may seem safe and reasonable for one to do so. This is a hot topic so not one to talk over with 'just anyone'...Hopefully the major options about 'when life begins' and what is the nature of one's spirit or soul could be factored into meaningful discussions.

Post new comment