This Veterans' Day, Thanking All Who Served in Military and Other Parts of Life too, maybe all of us really!

A moment of thanks and reflection (among many) for all people have done to live with care and respect, courage and more. Many who have been braved or been harmed (however) in the challenges and battles of life (which come in many forms) can be counted in the circle of those who 'fought the good fight' to live fully and then possibly paid it forward, even with injury or total loss of life to help others, or as organ donors to help others...

Those 'choices or paths were possibly planned with many angelic guides long maybe from a time long before they took human form some theories and people I've talked to suggest.

It's a great mystery and yet one we can explore in more widespread efforts to help everyone think about the generations who have come before, many in services and of course all Moms carrying children and also Dads and other braving the experience of nurturing the next wave of folks joining our forest of friends...

Thanks for all you are doing and let's help many more tune into the possible paths we may need to learn about in advance and have a team to pull through the challenges that arise.

PS Yes, special remembrances for all who have journeyed on this earth and left a legacy for us to learn from hopefully from their valor but even from their shortcomings, hoping we can learn to prevent dangers and difficulties early on and be on the ball when facing situations as they arise.

Don't be afraid to allow yourself some 'time to think things over' with a friend and check online supportive resources also. The battlefield is often one frought with pressures to have funds to pay for living and keeping one's boat afloat, so more help with the basics and planning for reasonable options could be the next courageous thing our society does.

See what Dr. Steven Greer offers in terms of ideas to heal our broken systems and help the people on earth survive these next decades by reclaiming energy resources that have been hidden from mainstream government and society. He has info and videos to back things up so hopes we will have the collective 'civil rights' kind of uprising to turn the tide in our favor for good options going forward and not be so dependent on fossil fuels.

I'll see what the 350.org and Greenpeace folks think of what he's saying too...It's all about team or give up the dream... but let's end on a positive note in this post and as we brave the future with more joining forces for good, shall we? That's my CTA, Call To Action...What is yours? Feel free to share this and dare to care while you can!

See Remembering Kaelan Alexander Palmer Paton to gain more momentum, and appreciate that his maternal grandfather (my Dad, Dale Dee Palmer Sr) was in WW2 for a few years in the Coast Guard and was a radar man...before he met my Mom Mary Sr. on the beach 'by chance' on his weekend leave in New Hampshire in 1944, when they were both 22!

That's  a moment that factored into what the last ten decades brought to our family...and it's mainly been amazingly blessed, even though that set us up for a huge shock with the passing of Kaelan, a few years after his grandparents (both of mine and his paternal grandfather Sandy Paton of CT passed just 40 days after Kaelan.) Caroline Paton, Sandy's wife and partner with Folk-Legacy Records which is now part of Folkways at the Smithsonian, died in 2019 after being quite compromised for a year after almost passing from low sodium. She was trying to be careful about salt because of some high blood pressure, but should have had others helping monitor her diet accordingly.

Many aspects of our care do better when talking things over with others which she did in part, but seeing people regularly (and understanding the importance of dental health as well, checking for gum infections which may factor into someone not wanting to eat and a person being confused about the cause rather than getting to a dentist) are all key tips for more people to keep track of. I share many other 'under the radar concerns' we would all do well to enlist in care protocol, especially if responsible for caring for someone or being a Power of Attorney (which everyone over 16 or 18 should have.) Discussing ways to 'override anyone' (including ourselves) with a directive to talk with others and not follow through on financial or legal matters or even who is caring for someone or firing someone if 'things don't add up or make sense' is A Good Game Plan!

Taking a month or at least a week or two to review matters would be prudent. That's the kind of 'back up system' one should put in place and have other possible contracts for a "legal caregiver agreement' or 'will' or "healthcare representative' and so forth in place even if not signed or if needing to review yearly to fine tune and update. Speak with an attorney in your state and get other reasonable advice from justanswer.com or legalzoom.com or nolo.com which offers a book called Building A Parenting Agreement That Works. Insisting on safety as a priority to keep people alive and well, particularly a mother and her children should be in the headlines of Every Country! Instead many 'wait til it's too late' in the name of 'justice, fairness and so forth.' Yet if a crime of abuse is being committed, anyone complicit with allowing that can be counted in the mix of 'aiding and abettting'...even attorneys representing abusers.

That is like driving the getaway car in a robbery if it's an ongoing situation of putting people in peril. With numbers of elders and others who may need care mushrooming (and millions doing more drugs of all kinds from alcohol to marijuana and opioids) the need to clarify where someone would go for help with mental health (including dementia and affects of drugs whether lega or not,) caregiver support and protection (even from clients and other care providers and systems,) and just about all basics for remaining 'in the community' versus in an instituational care setting need to be spelled out and backed up with more support.

Thanks for taking time to tune into these rather glum but prevalent situations, whether one has means or not. Often family and friends will go the distance to help someone for months or even years (or decades) but what does that do to their own health and life? How can we work to not have very few people keep doing the bulk of the caregiving and monitoring systems that should be in place to keep things in balance?

Maybe AI, Artificial Intelligence, and at least having more zoom resources (for courts which may often be the case for getting protective or restraining orders in place...and there is quite a difference and people in advocacy roles can get confused about whether a live-in caregiver is a co-habitant or not a resident of a home so may direct the power of attorney or client needing or wanting representation in the 'wrong direction' to get a restraining order in CT for instance rather than a protective order which is for people who are not related or living together as residents in the same home.

But review everything with a few folks and go and learn about any system one may be involved with for a few visits (or at least online.) find resources and give oneself an hour a day for a week or two to review and talk things over as much as possible with the key people. Even to move some items in storage from a shed that may take a few weeks or a couple of months, involve speaking with two different police officers (a supervisor for instance if things are not getting anywhere with the initial officer who will then typically be in charge of that case for instance in CT at Troop B in the Northwest Corner.)

Clarification is needed that co-workers should not yell or abuse one another since that can be threatening and is concerning. While police may be trained to handle far worse, they can help inform people along with care agencies about what is appropriate and how to handle conflicts in a reasonable manner that are part of any kind of housing or living situation, work or other group experience.

The rubber meets the road in terms of the laws being violated with many layers of rules based on where one is, the roles being played, if consent has been requested and given in a non-pressured way and so on. Learning about Coercive Control is the next step for many people in 'Seeing what's going on and coming around the corner.'

Even safety in 'mutual relationships of romance' could have continuous monitoring and review about responsibilities for safety and appropriate planning and actions again from smaller matters to bigger ones in terms of being involved or practical matters about living together, having a child or interactions that could result in an pregnancy.

Half of all pregnancies are not planned but with the laws being eliminated or changed then we can all lean into the reality of healthcare and whose making decisions. Talks from the SalisburyForum.org are available online and summaries are often on tricornernews.com (The Lakeville Journal of CT) They will have a special talk Nov.18, 2022 on the Constitution and how the laws have changed recently.

Then there may be other factors that come into play, with various people being called in as witnesses to obtain or prove the need for a restraining order or protective order. Those people also should learn about the system and find a way to work things out with a reasonable mediator or again with legal help to see if they are really needed or going to the right part of a court.

Again, many things can be done on the phone or a hearing be held via zoom. There should be more options and mediation centers, which would save many people time, stress, learning law and doing their own paperwork and filing of information with the clerk's office or possibly online.

There are law libraries with some support people who can direct one to law books that explain 'legalese' (the language and wording and process for various legal matters.) A paralegal learns plenty but when one is representing oneself 'all of the sudden' or even over a longer period of time, the stress of not knowing how to address the basics or trying to learn under pressure can make one feel they are being bullied or tormented.

So Not Fun...and it really should be rather enlightening and empowering to think there is a kind of 'justice system' that can help one, even if being bullied by people one has cared for and cares about whether family, friends or work-related...but News Flash:

There is no free help for many such situations if there has not been an arrest. A person who could have had someone arrested for them punching them can be the victim and described as the assailant and no one checks until the day in court to see if things are falsified or being represented accurately in advance.

There are laws supposedly to insist on 'the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth' but that doesn't mean the people alleging things understand they are lying or misrepresenting matters. Also there has been shown to be a general' bias against females and against victims of abuse'.

See what  Attorney Joan Meier shares in her fairly recent report on how 80 percent of the time an abusers will end up with custody of his children, even in the face of blatant and perilous endangerment.

A recent post explores such a case so that can be kept in mind when going to court for other issues where there may be a gray area and someone (even a client needing care having some medical supervision) does not agree to have a mental health evaluation and be open to a team assessment to root out distorted thinking and abuse of a capable, dedicated caregiver. That is something that is likely far more prevalent than anyone has taken time to describe, so that's why I am doing that here.