Playground Politics, Laws and Practices. If you see a child in distress (even a little one) don't pick them up (if they are not in danger etc) but rather call out to see who's with the child...

Okay so here is a post that will likely go viral and may have made the nightly news. There need to be ongoing discussions, lists and ways for people to clarify appropriate child care at all ages (of the children and even of the caregivers...) in various settings. Overall consider the ways Children Have Rights to Be Respected and Treated as Fully Human and Worthy of Care.

These can be voluntary guidelines yet realize many laws and policies are being hatched out overnight to insist people who are in domestic abuse and in custody cases as well as in child protective services, even schools and daycares, follow certain guidelines with the consequence (or penalty) of closer monitoring if not removal of the child from one's care (or removal from one's job, depending on the roles and situations.) I am putting this post up now because it's Long Overdue to have public discussions about many important 'little issues'. The rights of all parties are being discussed and sometimes 'settled' before many knew there was an issue.

A few decades ago, anyone in CT could watch children without regulation. Then standards were put in place which basically look like having two competent, safe adults caring for children in public daycare settings. One can do so in their home with a lot of screening of the person, the other people in the home and the property.

Then there are guidelines for 'Safe Church Policies' and Scouting and other groups whether related to public or private schools, sports or clubs, or camps.

Buddy systems and giving children personal space and privacy are likely clearly spelled out. Depending on which state someone is in, the terms may vary, and further differences of opinion play out in various cultures and communities. We need to consider what makes sense in terms of basic safety and could offer more insights into what is reasonable developmentally, socially and physically. Close supervision of infants and young children is recommended so that one would be aware if the child had any trouble breathing (possibly putting something in their mouths, even hair or a coin etc that they may find when in a car seat for instance.)

Ideally more people would review other ideas on this blog about 'setting routines and alarms to check on their child's safe delivery to daycare etc with a text to the other parent or a friendly support person as a way to be accountable that 'the job is done'. Maybe a person from the daycare or the sitter would be game to send out confirmations (same with school routines and returning safely home... have someone in the home report that the student arrived or was picked up from the school grounds.) Unfortunately that step was not in place for a group of students leaving a high school to have fun at a dangerous river a mile away.

Without such a game plan to have adult supervision and stick to guidelines not to let students get too close to a river (say 100 ' from the edge to avoid falls or sudden games of jumping in or pushing safety limits) one teen perished after saving two others and helping save a third who was rescued by an adult also 'breaking with protocol' to aid a youth in peril.

Five people were in dire straits, with one perishing in the process. That day was June 16th, 2009 and it could be referenced to inform better policies for parents and guardians, school and state guidelines and laws to be crafted to save more lives through preventive efforts, a massive public outreach and more. The truth is with the looming climate challenges, caring for one another in terms of knowing the rules and practicing safety will be more critical and widespread. The oceans will be rising and wiping out many towns and cities on the coasts of the world. This will happen more and more as icebergs melt and the ocean temperature warms.

It literally may be the case there will be sharks coming ashore during storms (as may have happened in recent hurricanes.) Getting life vest, air masks, boats and places to go to 'higher ground' in mind would be a good effort to promote through public schools and  towns in general. Caring about oneself and one's family and neighbors and wider circle of people would make more situations less dire particularly with 'regular talks and plans to protect one another.' That said for now on playgrounds in NYC and in many places, the rules are such that people without children cannot be at the playground.

That means (I think) that people can go into a park as a guest of someone who has a child and stay with that person, but likely that needs clarification. An alternative I would like to see more people discuss is offering programs at the playgrounds to provide support and education for all people caring for children in terms of promoting healthy eating and drinking habits (not force feeding infants bottles or food, not using food to punish children in terms of not letting them eat or drink if they are hungry or thirsty but one feels they did not behave, etc.) Even the idea of 'not giving a child a drink so they won't wet their pants' is one that may need review.

Have you ever been thirsty and denied?  There could be an effort made to make sure the child has plenty of quiet opportunities to eat and drink closer to the time when their may be a curfew (if one is feeling that really is the only way to help a child learn bladder control or not wake up a lot to feed at night after a certain size, about 12 lbs I think one pediatrician said.) Some say one is 'training a child in habits' so consistency is important. Also formula or breastmilk should not linger in the mouth (as may happen if the child falls asleep with the bottle or nursing.) Cleaning a child's mouth with a wet cloth or  sip of water if not tooth brushing would be a good preventive step before a child is falling asleep. 

So back to the playgound and community politics in general, the point of this post is to get more discussion going. Not blaming or harming anyone's relationship but encouraging more people to feel it is worth talking about and being open to fine-tuning overall goals and options to having a positive win-win relationship, one of having power with one's child not power over them to instill fear and compliance.

That goes for all caregivers and there are ways to coach children along with a sense of playing and living fairly, sharing, taking turns, asking for help or making requests without demanding, hitting, hurting, intimidating others and so on. The words and behaviors a parent, teacher or other adults and children model is what a child generally mirrors (with a little variation and cues about their own levels of energy, hunger, need to move or rest, especially during times of transition..waking up, getting going to another place, arriving at a new place, winding down at night and going to sleep.

Keep that in mind as I share the following, and again, consider what you see (and what you don't but hear about whether kids having tantrums or parents or adults shouting at them or each other (that may be in an apartment nearby or in public), some people feeding a child too much or primarily junk food, soda, and not getting them out to run around, play or socialize.

Watching too much on computers or television (or maybe not much at all in the way of educational or creative programming in the mix.) Let's keep the ideas for how other adults and capable children could enhance a community with sharing talents through libraries, parks (that may be a biggie but some parks do allow adults and have playgrounds fenced off,) faith groups and recreational programs at schools and daycares. Sharing resources is a key part to improving networks and promoting Transition Towns (moving toward using less energy and nurturing people with a sense of community.)

Someone comforted a 1 year old in distress at a playground, but picked her up (not a good idea in NYC)...The person stood there and asked people about 30 feet away if they knew who was with the child. Turns out one of the few nannies was wanting the child to adjust to being alone and 'walk around' since that would be good for her to do...and learn independence.

The person left after suggesting the child was too young to be confident alone and was crying for that reason...She got a call from police a half hour later and had quite a chat back and forth about 'what's appropriate' for a little one or if nannies or others should be closer to the children, etc so a passerby wouldn't worry about a child not having someone watching them.

There's a lot of room for discussion about 'playground politics and safety on many levels.' There are rules about not being in certain playgrounds without a child or with someone else who has a child, etc. Just thought I'd chime in so I don't forget to help get this important discussion going...and will cover the ideas on livfully.org in general terms...