Thinking of Ferguson..peace, healing and reviewing Trainings for Police and People in Conflict...maybe retreat and act later with back-up..

Ideally everyone could take time to look at the most current coverage from GMA (Good Morning America) on the account Darren Wilson gives in an extensive interview.

While he says there were no options for him even in hindsight, I think the training that police employ in dangerous situations needs to be thoroughly reviewed. In the August 9th, 2014 episode that lasted less than two minutes, Darren says he did not drive away from Michael Brown once he started away but rather pursued him after a dangerous encounter in which Michael had begun hitting him while he was still in his car.

Mr. Wilson also said Michael Brown had reached for Mr. Wilson's gun when he had quickly determined he needed to draw it and told him he would shoot him.

Likely Mr. Wilson could not have rolled up his window and really not getting out would have been ideal since even though he called for back up none had arrived (and his radio had shifted to another channel when reporting more was needed after firing shots while still in the car).

The de-escalation of any conflict at the soonest time would be the better approach for anyone in a conflict. Getting to safety and calling for help would make sense, even with rescue workers, especially if outnumbered.

Michael Brown apparently said Mr. Wilsom did not have the guts to do so (other terms used). This is the point that I feel Darren Wilson and all officers would be better off considering if not being trained to back off if the chance arises and not count on back-up arriving in a timely manner.

While Mr. Wilson then said he felt his job was to chase Mr. Brown--and likely given his training it was, to prevent him from endangering others--once  Mr. Brown was starting toward him again (even after having been shot at), ideally Mr. Wilson could have gotten in his car and backed away.

That may not really have proven possible, and yet, firing to kill is what most officers are currently trained to do. Mr. Wilson said he did have a siting of Mr. Brown at close range to his head and fired.

While that may be training, after sensing he had hit him at least once and maybe twice, a shot to the leg likely could have halted Mr. Brown. Again the earliest point of getting away, in terms of far enough back to not have either party hurt further could be a new standard.

The lack of compliance on the part of Mr. Brown may have merited the use of force and even deadly force, since Darren did warn that he would shoot and to stop advancing toward him after Mr. Brown had run a short distance away but turned to back to him.

Some of the terms Mr. Wilson used in describing Mr. Brown echo that of many domestic violence victims, who are attacked 'for almost no reason' in ways that 'don't make sense'. The difficulty Mr. Wilson had in comprehending that Mr. Brown acted in strange and even 'crazy' ways with an intensity of rage over almost nothing that he could think of can be a common occurrence for many abuse victims.

While the two kinds of violence 'may not seem related' I wonder if the larger reason these kinds of things are happening is to shed some light on the reality that many people of all ages and genders, but primarily children and mothers and younger women and elderly women face far too often as part of their culture (even family), work place, education, online or other connection.

It is worth letting the entire situation speak to us and note that it is unusual to have two very large men show both fear and aggression or deliver violence to one another (even if the police man were acting in accordance with self-defense and promoting safety by following Mr. Brown and shooting him when he did not comply with stopping.

Shooting someone is a form of violence .even if deemed 'necessary'). If the media fed into the allegations of police officer Darren Wilson acting other than he said he did, and which the evidence of his face being bruised and no bullets entering Micheal Brown from behind, then more effort should be made to stem the tide of misinformation and to make amends at this time.

he fury some people are acting out of may be linked to rumors and printed stories that could spur many to feel angered. Meeting violence with violence is not the way to handel such tragedies or wrongdoing.

The communities that have limited ways to addressing crime unfortunately see many lives wasted with an ongoing sense of fear and frustration. The larger context of the community needs to be considered. Apparently Mr. Brown and another man had robbed a store for some kind of cigars which Mr. Brown handed off to the other man while punching Mr. Wilson.

That something as mundane as 'needing some smokes', whether for a real nicotine addiction which can be a huge source of stress and expensive for many who use regularly or are on a tight budget, could have been a big factor in the mystery of why Mr. Brown was acting edgy.

Maybe if he had smoked one his immediate sense of aggression would have subsided enough that he would not have been upset by Mr. Wilson's request to his friend to walk on the sidewallk. Once Mr. Wilson was concerned by Mr. Brown's behavior, he should have called for back-up and kept himself at a safe distance, particularly given the size of Mr. Brown, not his race but also that he had a friend and he did not.

Far too many times, and even for decades, many abuse victims who have asked for help to prevent matters from escalating have been told 'the police cannot or will not do anything if they come over if no crime has been committed'.

That almost makes sense, but a ride for any victim, and her children (or his if that is the case truly determined) from her house with an assurance she would not be deemed abandoning the house or her children if she cannot take them with her for some reason, should be a given in every state, and it is not currently so.

When we see how much can go terribly wrong or become escalated in only a minute or two, why wouldn't we start to think through our current everyday laws and practices for all citizens--legal and illegal-- and response systems for EMS (Emergency Medical Services), Fire (where in more cases than chance would have it, a man gets out but not the woman a San Francisco firefighter told me 20 years ago).

I don't mean to confuse issues about domestic violence and ways police can respond to any emergency or even 'not alarming but of concern' situation, but a lot more can be done along these lines.

This case is becoming a catalyst for an array of responses, some based on fact and others based on emotions, other conflicts such as the loss of Trayvon Martin, and many race or minority issues and as I offer hear, some gender-based (most Domestic Violence victims and fatalities are female, with about 1000 mothers killed each year, 500 women and 200 children).

These sad statistics occur on a regular basis, with little media coverage in terms of understanding the federal versus state laws and the many breaks in carring out justice for victims who are willing and able to reach out for help to stay out permanently. Many family court policies (including a growing advocacy for shared parenting in all but the most egregious cases of DV) for most states is alarming. Too often judges and other court-affiliated personnel and police officers are not well-informed about the danger to all in the family if the woman is being abused. Recent information from Safe Kids International reports that a woman is five times more likely to be killed by her 'partner' which should be more accurately termed as the man she is living with-- if there is a gun in the home.

The language of a 'husband or partner or even father' killing his spouse or children clouds the reality that a man killed a woman and children, as in his legal spouse or housemate or  his own biological children or otherwise related by law or a living circumstance. 

Too oten if people hear there is a family tie by marriage they assume she is staying by choice, not because she does not know or have confidence in her options longterm. Sometimes there are threats against her or their children (their lives or not being able to see them or have shared legal or physical custody) if she leaves or if she does not do so On His Terms...These are the huge RED FLAGS that too many advocates and legal professionals minimize in a divorce or custody action, right when they should be grateful if a woman can convey what she has lived with, including verbal threats.

A lack of information and confusing messages can leave each new generation in a FOG (fear, obligation, guilt) of asking important questions, even questioning authority and business as usual. Surely, logic would have most people believing justice would be on their side.

That is even the case for Darren Wilson, who did live to tell his side of this story. With video evidence of a robbery, a chance encounter and more aggression, most likely could feel justice was served in some way and the 'integrity of the investigation' was maintained with his silence. Ideally some spokesperson could have given an account of his side of the story which he shared only minutes and hours later that day.

The vacuum of detailed information led to speculation and growing controversy.

Too often  more  support is needed to get the truth out when something goes awry, and without being able to present a clear account (which most attorneys would advise any client against speaking to the media and so on), then there is another level of difficulty created. I will wrap this up for now, but after studying some of www.civicresearchinstitute.org books on Domestic Violence, Abuse and Child Custody,  and those by www.lundybancroft.com

I can seek links between this kind of episodic violence and domestic abuse. More screenings for personality types and patterns of aggression could be done by everyone to self-screen and learn their own triggers whether it linked to substance use, relationship issues, finances, stress, or other challenges. Communication tips  can help such as from youtube (see Alan Seid and David Adelson) and NVC (Nonviolent or Compassionate Communication or Option Institute).

Sites like www.healthyplace.com and NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) could all play a role in healing and teaching better responses to people who present as unstable and aggressive. Those studies may prove valuable for Darren Wilson and other safety workers and leaders in a community to review and promote.

The use of force has its place but likey could be needed much less often if a culture of peace were promoted in ads, the media, in parenting and teaching circles, schools and teams, work places and beyond. It can make a person seem 'soft and vulnerable' yet with support for safety when living, in school and in life, with teams of support and good plans each person voluntarily follows, that could curtail conflicts and even crimes substantially.  We can hope anyway.

Holding out hope for peaceful talks and ways to work through the many issues impacting communities around the country and beyond..with the difficulties and loss in Fergusson once again impacting people in major ways, unfortunately with more violence.

President Obama gave some direction that more steadfast efforts could be made to make changes longterm without bringing more harm to anyone or any place. Maybe another option for those ending a life, intentionally or  not could be promoted to show there is an apology of action..

These caring responses (by people involved as well as others who could show 'come-alongside support' and offer up freedoms for a day, week or more or do healing services and such) could include working with a sense of community service or curtailing freedoms for months or longer, helping fundraise to help victims and causes that could address the difficulty and so on.

We need more think tanks on many issues, and the power of people speaking out and getting the attention of all facets of society could be a step toward real progress.

I hope online resources such as ww.211.org could offer guidance for mental health and safety tips (what to do in a crisis and in the days following any crisis, death or major difficulty for all to get support,not knowing how people may be triggered or needing guidance to express themselves effectively and find support longer terms) and many other sites (practical but also spiritual and give some ideas about WHY strange or difficult things may happen in terms of karma or www.edgarcayce.com type insights as well as some options to shift one's life path with insights into personality (such as Enneagram or Birth Angels and much more, even basic zodiac or awareness of needs for proper maternal care and early childhood, etc) and groups could assist along these lines...for now, peace and hope for a calm and steadfast care to prevail through these challenging times.